Thursday, May 24, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction - Silence

The Five Sentence Fiction is a simple idea:

Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.

This entry is all about the word "Silence." I chose to be a little more...odd...this time, going with something somewhat poetic. Does it work? You tell me. But the idea is both mother and son are now made silent--both for different reasons--but both linked all the same.

* * *

Made to suffer: a wounded heart taken from a wordless mother.

Inside the mind Hell exists; her inner pain was matched with rage.

Giving up her last full tears as they fell to wet the soil.

Deep underground his coffin lay -- the boy never passed his vestal age.

His battled frame saw no more pain; hers would know no end of turmoil.

14 comments:

  1. Interesting poem! I particularly like the first sentence; it opens up a lot of images in my mind.

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  2. Good imagery. Agree with Camilla.

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  3. Very intense and emotional. Thanks for sharing – dropping in from Five Sentence Fiction.

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  4. That last line is incredible. Really liked this.

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  5. This is deep and heart-wrenching! Great piece!

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  6. Yes, Phil, poetic and evocative of an emotional response from the reader.

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  7. A beautiful but sorrowful piece. I haven't seen FSF done as a poem before. Very nice

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  8. Wow that was actually pretty brilliant, great rhyming

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  9. Heart-wrenching. The last line has impact. An excellent piece :)

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    1. Thank you! :) Glad you liked it, even if it was a bit depressing.

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  10. Excellent piece. You've so fully captured the heartache and true soul wrenching pain that never fully fades. Lovely writing!!!

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