Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Five sentence fiction -- Sombrero

Having seen this before, yet never done it, this is my first "official" entry into Lillie McFerrin's contest-of-sorts. The Five Sentence Fiction is a simple idea:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
At least, that's how she puts it. At any rate, below is my entry, and I hope it stimulates some thoughts on the process of writing of your own. Enjoy!

* * *

Tattered and torn from the gunfight, the light of the high-noon sun poked through his stereotypical Latin chapeau, leaving reverse leopard-spots on his face and neck.

His breathing was labored as he hid behind the low-cut wall, six-shooter held in a trembling hand; reloading was taking far too long.

On the other side, not far away, two men were approaching: his makeshift hideout had been betrayed.

The top of his hat poked up above the brick and mortar, "We can see you, Delgado!"

A firefight would soon ensue, and the only victor would be the vultures that circled--high-riding the thermals blown from the mouth of Hell itself.

9 comments:

  1. Loved your final sentence...enjoyed that!

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  2. Fabulous first stab at Lillie's 5 sentence fiction. I could picture it all...well done!

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  3. I saw your entry over at reddit but enjoyed it the second time around. The last line is great but I also love the visual of the "reverse leopard-spots." Nicely done!

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  4. Thank you all for the very kind words! :)

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  5. Vivid debut! I could see the scene play out in my mind's eye...

    I'm visiting from Five Sentence Fiction. *waves* It's also my first "official" entry.

    http://writer-in-transit.co.za/f-s-f-sombrero/

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  6. I imagined one of my fav films here (The Magnificent 7). You captured the futility of the situation beautifully. x

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  7. Thank you! I hope to continue having fun with these FSF moments.

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