Thursday, June 14, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction – Medicine

The Five Sentence Fiction is a simple idea:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
This time, we are given the word "medicine" to guide us. So, here's my entry, I hope you like it.

***

The doctor laid out my options: do nothing and I will die; do something and I might live.

I hated the cold, unbreakable logic of it all--that even with the treatment there were no guarantees.

His trying-to-be-a-calming-influence voice faded into a mumble--a low whisper of a rumble--as I pared off in my thoughts and struggled to comprehend it all.

I looked at him, with his white lab-coat and over-brushed smile; he'd finally stopped talking, which is fine because the decision was clear.

"Do something."

19 comments:

  1. I like the logical, straightforward, no-nonsense approach here!

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  2. A choice I've been through with others so many times (as a hospice nurse). Nicely done.

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  3. Nice description of the chaos of that moment!

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  4. That would be a rough decision to make when there are no guarantees. Nicely done.

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  5. I like how this helps me step into the shoes of the patient. Very surreal like I imagine it would be to receive such a diagnosis.

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  6. Very matter of fact; nicely done.

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  7. I agree with Sandra. The matter of fact tone suits the story very well. Well done!

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  8. I agree with the peeps saying how matter of fact it is but that's the black or white choice. . . no grey area here. Nicely done. xxx

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  9. This is a no-nonsense doctor telling it like it is. No frills, no bouquets, no pussyfooting around. You want to live or else. Terrific take on the prompt.

    PS: Phil..don't feel so bad...I also have short, fat fingers and they always interfere with my keyboard typing. Good excuse when I make typos. lol Phil .. a tip. ...delete your Captcha to make it easier for us Blogspot peeps to post and not have to go thru the jumble ea. time.

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  10. Thanks for the kind words (again!) :)

    Lora, I'm not sure that I can remove the captcha...it's not something I implimented, I personally hate them.

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  11. Liked it Phil, what we all need when we make stark decisions.
    Btw, to get rid of captcha go to 'Settings' on your dashboard, then to 'Post and Comments' and click 'no' for 'Show word verification'... I have a vehemence for captcha too! Was pleased to get rid of mine!

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  12. Thanks, Lisa. The Captcha is gone... :)

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  13. I am liking this doctor! I loved the realistic points of the story and the descriptions flowed very nicely!

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  14. Nicely crafted. Never an easy choice. Many times it's not that clear cut. Quality of life often throws a monkey wrench into the whole decision process.

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  15. A nice, real approach to the prompt. The way the doctor is characterized through the pov is nice, especially the "trying-to-be-a-calming-influence voice line. Good one!

    Brian

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