Thursday, July 5, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction – Pirates

The Five Sentence Fiction is a simple idea:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
This week, the chosen word is "Pirates," and I thought about it for a moment then wondered...what about the penalty for failed piracy? Why not give that a go? So...here we are, and I hope you like it.

***

The death is not pretty or serene; rather it is twitching, gurgling, jittering, and jolting as men tried desperately to clutch to what life might be left as they meet the sudden stop at the end of a short rope.

Such is the penalty for plundering the King's gold.

As he watched the others sway in the breeze the panic set in -- sweat, panting breath, tremors in the hands and legs, shock, wide-eyed and wild -- wishing to run but he could not, turning to the executioners he pleaded for mercies that would not come as he begged for his meager life to be spared.

Tears flowed with a bubbling on the lips -- a froth of words as he spoke wishing for one last time to be given a chance at redemption, life, and breath -- all the while the nearby priest chanted repeating blessings upon his condemned soul.

Unceremoniously, the hood was lowered over his eyes -- the silence beneath that woolen cowl was sickening, tainted with his warm breath and mist from sweat and tears -- he tried to cry out just as the plank beneath him fell away.

18 comments:

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    1. Wow... I never expected you to comment, Talli! :) Thank you for the ego boost!

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  2. "tainted with his warm breath and mist from sweat and tears" this feels wonderfully suffocating, you've captured the moment so well.

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    1. Thanks, Meg! :) Glad you liked it.

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  3. Love it, the short drop and the sudden stop, a different take on the prompt for sure. I also liked that you didn't make your protagonist stoic or brave, but blubbering and panicked (as I think most would be). Great!

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    1. Thanks! :) It was a fun idea to play with.

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  4. Vivid and well wrought. I agree with pinionpost that the panic and desperation for life is much more believable. Great Job!

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    1. Well, if I were about to be hanged, I doubt that I would be in a mood for anything other than panic. Of course, I'm sort of cowardly like that; but there are those that manage to mask their fear very well, I'm just not one of those types. Thanks for your support! :)

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  5. Nailed! Your images jumped right off of the screen and are going to stay with me for quite a while...

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a message! :)

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  6. Brilliant description Phil, totally human and real...made me shiver...(was going to add a pun about 'me timbers', but, no.) Enjoyed this!

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    1. Thanks, Lisa! This one was fun! :)

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  7. Great realistic human description of that final terror, the closeness of the cowl and the sudden surprise of the fall. So well written.

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  8. What a horrendous way to go. I can only hope that the rope frayed away at that exact moment too!


    Http://www.thejadedlens.com/2012/97/11

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    1. Afraid not, the scurvy dog hung for his crimes.

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  9. A great tale.
    Chillingly descriptive - what a way to go.

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