Thursday, July 19, 2012

FIVE SENTENCE FICTION – SCARLET

The Five Sentence Fiction is a simple idea:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
This week, the chosen word is "Scarlet," and this, too, was hard to conjure.

***

The blood flowed around his upturned boots like fresh rain in the gutters of his native Seville.

At his feet lay many dead Inca, all of whom tasted his hate-born blade deeply, horridly; they were slaughtered in a feast of scarlet bloodletting -- a frenzy the likes of which this religious site had never before known.

His crimson cloak fluttered in the slight wind as it blew through the passageways of the once holy pagan temple -- defiled by the corpses of the slain guardians -- and now that the raucous sound of battle had finally dimmed only the dripping of their vital fluids broke the silence of the solitary altar.

Finally, years after he heard the rumor of its existence, he held his prize: "The Heart of the World," a ruby bigger than his own powerful fist.

Cloak, blood, and ruby coiled together in unity as the Conquistador turned, his laughter echoing throughout the rough-hewn stone courtyard; and as he stepped towards the archway he left nothing behind him except sorrow.

23 comments:

  1. I swear, Phil, your descriptions just get better and better! This is a great exercise. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! You had me cowering in a corner of the alter in hopes of not being seen and receiving the same fate as the other guardians. You are getting more and more descriptive every week. You really have a knack for this five sentence fiction. I was truly into this one and it ended. I wanted to scream no give me more! This is an honest and unbiased opinion even though you are my husband. I would tell you if I thought it was no good. Great job with scarlet!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Such lovely, powerful imagery. Nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_k551HzMCLM :-) the perfect accompaniment! Nice post :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love this! You packed so much into five sentences. You could easily turn this into a longer piece, don't you think?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably, yes. I'd have to do more research on Incas and Conquistadors to make it realistic. I'm glad you liked it, Gina!

      Delete
  6. If this were a historical fiction book, I would SO BUY IT. Conquistadors - so brutally mystical in their own way. Tragic, forceful, egotistical, shaping the world in their own image.

    If you make this a longer work, please let me know!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will certainly try to remember! Thank you for the awesome encouragement!

      Delete
  7. Oh my, this definitely deserves a longer tale be told. The imagery and power were beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am honored by the thought that this deserves a longer treatment. Thank you!

      Delete
  8. Oh my God, Phil! You've personified such a force of pure evil here. I felt myself backing away from the screen. Excellent!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Evil is my middle name.

      Not really, actually, it's Ryan, but close enough. lol

      Thanks, Jayne, glad you liked it!

      Delete
  9. I can picture everyting so clearly with such vivid description of evilness. Loved it! x

    ReplyDelete
  10. The dark, putrid evil is so tangible in this piece. I hate that a ruby could be worth all that bloodshed...and yet, there ARE those who have done the same, some even, in our American midst.


    Http://www.thejadedlens.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed the piece. The question, to me, at least, is what made the Conquistador turn to such vile acts? Was it just greed? Was there more to it? I don't know...yet.

      Delete
  11. So many layers to this piece; five little sentences that could be debated for hours. Magic when that happens :) Love this!! Especially the last sentence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed that, Lillie! I hope you like the new entry for today (Perseverance) as well.

      Delete