Thursday, August 2, 2012

Five Sentence Fiction – Victory

The Five Sentence Fiction is a simple idea:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
This week, the chosen word is "Victory." Victory, to me, usually comes from all those war movies I watch. Or, perhaps, a little Conan... Either way, that's the drive behind this entry.

***

All around him was a bloody mass of bodies chaotically intertwined in a cacophony of carnage.

Alone, standing on the field, sword ever at the ready, battle-standard in hand -- his flag blazing as it flapped in the ineffable breeze -- he scoured the countryside for any sign that he had not taken the last of them to the bowels of Hell by the point of his blade.

Cursing the fallen enemy as they lay at his feet, he could hear distant moans of gory demise dim and come to silence as the last of the refuse paid their debt to him in the currency called death.

For what seemed like miles around him the offal littered the ground, the stench was horrible, it burned his nostrils; and he felt a heaving in his chest as he breathed, and only through a supreme act of will could he keep the contents of his last meal from climbing back up his windpipe.

He had taken the day and dealt with his own bloody hands a defeat from which they would never recover -- at long last the war was over.

15 comments:

  1. wow! intense scene that drops you straight in the battle. very visceral piece. Love it.

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    1. Thanks, Dale! Glad you liked it. This was the first thing that popped into my head when reading the prompt word on Lillie's blog, and I just had to write it down.

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    1. Thanks, Stephen! This was a pretty fun piece to do.

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  3. An intense piece of writing Phil.
    Sounds like a war to end all wars - where have I heard that before?

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    1. We have those from time to time... Then we have a new excuse for a war. Thanks for the support and kind words.

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  4. Some nice images here, Phil! Reminds me a bit of the battle scenes in the Odyssey (with armor ringing around them as they fall) - at least it has the epic scale feel to it. Well done!

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  5. very descriptive and lovely language. I love cacophony of carnage and the fourth paragraph; very visual! x

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  6. Phil, you drew me into the action from the opening sentence! I especially loved the visual battlefield you created in the alliterative "chaotically... cacophony of carnage"

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  7. I adore well done alliteration and I fell in love with the first sentence! Intense writing at it's best!!!!

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    1. I am glad you approve, Lillie! Thank you for all your encouragement. :)

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