Thursday, March 21, 2013

Five Sentence Fiction – Conquer

The Five Sentence Fiction is a simple idea:
Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in your five sentences, just use it for direction.
This week, Lillie chose the word "Conquer," and the best form comes in the form of the righteous. Enjoy.
***
Over the field and fray the fallen were strewn like grain scattered before fowl.
The battle was over; the cost was dear, and now the dead lay in pools of sticky mud -- made red by the life that was lost.
Picking at their remains, the vultures of men relieved the corpses of their valuables; just as in the distance their winged counterparts plucked out eyes and gorged themselves on the fetid flesh.
The Emperor, on his horse, was relieved, for all was not lost, nor had the sacrifice been in vain.
Evil had come, was vanquished by the last remnants of light in a dismal world, and in hopes that the Tempest would rise no more in the hearts of Man, he wept bitter tears that only the valorous can know. 

14 comments:

  1. oh wow. the way this is written is almost poetic-- it's absolutely brilliant. i particularly liked "the vultures of men.." nice work!!!

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    1. Thanks, Azia! :) Glad you liked it.

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  2. I agree, it is poetic and flows beautifully. Great :D

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  3. I am amazed and in awe in of the talent that I meet each day. This is written not from a 'geek' but from a wordsmith.

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  4. A very powerful depiction of battle, and some of the emotion of it.

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    1. Emotion is hard. Codifying a feeling in words that express properly what one feels, or rather *should* feel, is the hardest thing to do...even more so in only five sentences. Thank you!

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  5. Brilliant comparison of the dead bodies littering the ground as seed before fowl, and the men with the vultures. Really liked the imagery in this post, of the blood and filth and the flesh being ripped apart by the vultures. The tempest in the hearts of man indicates rebellion, and the emperor's view of himself as being valorous in having crushed this rebellion and then weeping bitter tears adds real depth to the story.

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  6. Excellent post. Really like the symbolism. Good description makes you feel the grime and dirt. Well done :)

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  7. Well done.
    But evil is a zombie that never stays dead for long.
    And that is why the hero cries.

    Cheers!
    JzB

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    1. Thanks! And, yes, you are quite right.

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